Happy Mother’s Day!
Here is a big shout out to all the moms out there. This day can be bittersweet for so many moms. The motherhood journey is one filled with ups and downs, grief and loss, pain, sickness, exhaustion, joy, and so much love. Simply uttering “Happy Mother’s Day” seems so inadequate. I want to truly honor all of you moms out there. You are amazing. You have reached the epic level in the fight to persevere through struggles. I am cheering for all of you.
I know many in my circle of friends who have experienced loss. To you, I can only say that I am praying for you and admire your determination to keep on keeping on. I wish you all the love on this day.
I also know many moms who are working their way through the emotions, struggles and victory of parenting special needs and foster or adopted children. To you (and me), I say remember to breathe – big, slow, deep breaths. Find joy in the micromoments. Celebrate the little victories. Sometimes they are hard to see in the midst of meltdowns and the other things that get in the way of clear sight.
We experienced a few of these little victories this week. The kids had a normal sibling rivalry moment fussing over what TV show they were going to watch. It was annoying, but it certainly was more a more “normal” fight than what we usually experience. There are little wins here and there. Little Miss only resisted her work a little bit at school, but she was able to pull herself together and go on to do some academics. This is huge. Her last 3 years of school have been spent telling the teachers to “pound sand” when they ask her to do academic work. We aren’t talking pre-calculus! Just ABC’s and 123’s. She used some more colorful language to express herself in the past. Now, she hardly swears. This is a victory, too.
I have been reading a good book lately, and I wanted to pass along the title and link to it (not a paid advertisement). I am finding it helpful in my quest to be the best parent I can be. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B004J4X32U&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_LI7fzbPG10KX9
The book is called the Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel (Author), Tina Payne Bryson. The first part of the book gives a basic tour of the brain and how it works. I found it very helpful. The second part of the book is focused on strategies to help kids get calm and manage big emotions. The book is not written with Reactive Attachment Disorder or special needs parenting in mind, but it certainly has given me some tools to use with my kids. The book discusses integration – having both hemispheres of the brain working together. When we have both the emotional and logical parts of our brain functioning together, we see a more rational, thoughtful response to situations that could produce big emotions like when the two sides aren’t working together. I like the strategies in the book and am starting to use them with my oldest son. I am still trying to figure out how to use them with the Little Lady. I will keep you posted on my progress.
In closing, I hope that today you experience a moment or two of peace and calm. Know that you are loved and cared for. Know that you are special and valued by your Creator. He loves you and knows just where you are at this very moment. I thank God for you. I thank God for my family and friends, too. I pray that you experience joy today.
Until next time – Deb